Take a look at an apple tree.

There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but each apple has just ten seeds.

That's a lot of seeds!

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more apple trees?"

Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us: "Not all seeds grow. In life, most seeds never grow.

So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once."

This might mean:

a)   You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.

b)   You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.

c)   You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one car, one vacuum

      cleaner, one insurance policy, or a business idea.

d)   And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to find one

      special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We stop feeling like victims. We learn how to deal with things that happen to us.

Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL
Successful people fail more often. But they plant more seeds.

When Things Are Beyond your control, here's something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery in your life:

a) You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
b) You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.
c) Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry!
d) That's what miserable people do!

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:

a) Friends SHOULD return favors.
b) People SHOULD appreciate you.
c) Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
d) Everyone SHOULD be honest.
e) Your husband or best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen!

So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead, have preferences!

For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:

"I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"  <-- Me : I absolutely agree with this!

This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind ...

You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine ... but if it rains, it is ok too!

To become happier, we either need to

a) Change the world, or
b) Change our thinking

It is easier to change our Thinking!

IN A NUTSHELL
It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it is your attitude attending to the problem that is the problem.

It's not what happens to you that determine your happiness.

It's how you think about what happens to you!

 

I don't mean to be skeptic but errr .. can't help it. I'm so sorry. My mind maybe too narrow and my values are too conservative perhaps.

 

I don't mean to question those who are in the midst of this type of relationship, you'll have my purest wishes for happiness. :)

I know this article is super long but it is worth the read. That's why I took the risk to bored you to death by pasting it here. Trust me, it worth your time.

 

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Steve Jobs' speech at Stanford University. This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The 1st Story is about CONNECTING THE DOTS.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student , and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuitio n. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5ý deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceles s later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My 2nd Story is about LOVE & LOSS.
I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dr opped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds fi rst computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.